- 7th December, 2015 | 3192 views
GNO Work Christmas Party survival guide
How to survive the Christmas office party
It’s that time of year where we have to put on the fake smiles, pretend we like our colleagues and try not to get to drunk as Christmas sees the Annual Christmas office party. After years of getting it wrong we now have put this survival guide together to stop you waking up with blushes the next morning or worse getting more sacked than Santa lol.
Ladies try not to show much more leg/chest than you ordinarily would at work. The general rule for office Christmas party attire is: something you’d wear into work but with added sequins. For guys avoid faux paus and keep it professional. Save the tight leather trousers for another party
None of us really like the people we work with, we didn’t choose them but now and again they can be useful for covering for us when we’ve had an extended lunch break, or phoned in sick. Don’t forget that faux-friendship on the night, ‘buy’ them a drink, get involved in the bitching and with any luck they’ll cover for you in the morning when you’re two hours late face down on your desk in your own vomit and the month-end figures need doing.
There’s no point pretending you won’t drink on the night, you will, it’s free and one of the only ways to make this awful annual event bearable. But know what sort of drunk you are. Happy drunks should avoid the photocopier – nobody needs to see your backside plastered all over the noticeboard. Loving drunks should avoid the opposite sex because a sexual harassment tribunal is not a good addition to any CV, and Fighty drunks for obvious reasons, should avoid the Boss. Know your limits, this isn’t a night out with your friends. If you are a serious lightweight then get a glass of water between drinks. Try to have a glass of water in between every alcoholic drink. If you don’t want to appear like a lightweight, ask for water in a half-pint glass with a slice of lime and tell anyone who asks it’s a gin and tonic.
Much like the photocopier, social media is best left alone on the night. Jane in admin might well have nice breasts but Facebook doesn’t need to know and they will if half the office Like your status. Your partner however won’t Like it when they check what you got up to the night before.
Ahhh, the demon that is drunken lust. If the guy in accounts is looking surprisingly sexy when the beer goggles are on or her from HR looks quite hot in heels, try to approach with caution. If you do think they’re interested, instead of launching yourself at them, aim to be subtle and sexy.
Just because your boss is dancing on the table screeching out Girls Aloud’s latest hit, doesn’t mean you have to join her. Save yourself the office blushes and keep your twirling routine to the dance floor.
Contrary to what you might think, your boss wants to be at the Office Party even less than you do. It’s bad enough he has to pay you once a month, let alone cough up for this annual indulgence and mingle with his minions. He’d much rather be at home drinking champagne and eating hors d’oeuvres Don’t approach the boss let them come to you. It makes them feel important and as above, if you’re a fighty drunk avoid them altogether. When they do approach say thank-you even if through gritted teeth. Your boss may well be a **** but you’ll still need your January wage packet to pay for Christmas.
If your company aren’t offering transport home, then pre-book a taxi before you head out. See if you can share a cab with colleagues and then you can split the cost. If you pre-book you can always change the time rather than hobbling around in your heels trying to hail a cab at the end of the night.
No matter how invincible you think you are, every girl needs her beauty sleep. Allow enough time post-party to squeeze in some shut eye. Once you can force yourself out of bed, refresh yourself with a shower and kick start the hangover battle with a good breakfast.